Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Vin Diesel thinks that guns are for pussies. He throws bullets at people.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

For New Year's eve, Angelina Jolie celebrated by firing herself out of a canon. After her sub-orbital flight, she crash landed in Paris where she was immediately heralded as a resurrected Brigitte Bardot, sent by God to save them from whatever the fuck the French are having a problem with. Then they remembered that Brigitte Bardot isn't dead and they all went home.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

When woven into a mesh, Angelina Jolie's pubic hair is bullet-proof.

The Game of Life Rules of the Week

Mormon Rules: Everyone must be a man.

Before the game starts, all players must go out and harass all of their neighbors for an hour. It's a game, so you can do anything, just so long as it annoys them and causes them to pretend like they're not home.

When a player lands on the "Get Married" square, they must marry at least 2 wives. The marrying player receives $100,000 in gifts for every wife he marries.

If a player lands on a "Have a Child" square, the player will have that number of children with each of their wives.

If the game runs out of pegs for children, start using Jujubes.

If a player spins a 10, they suffer religious prejudice and are thrown in jail for three turns. It's helpful to have a Monopoly board for this.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Confused by the name, Angelina Jolie once tried eating an entire Piggly Wiggly.