Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Game of Life Rules of the Week

Puerto Rican Rules: Every third spin, have a child. Spin to determine sex. If odds, you have a boy, if evens, a girl. If you spin a 9 or a 10, have twins.

No players can go to college. Everyone drops out of high school and starts a career immediately. Players must spin to determine who goes first. Only available salary cards are 20, 30, and 40,000. Remaining players must get a job at Wal*Mart for $15,000 on Pay Day. Wal*Mart employees get a 10% discount on every square and get $1,000 per child on payday from welfare.

No players can buy houses. Everyone must live out of their car.

No players can buy stock.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

You Might Be an Asshole if...

You wear sunglasses on the back of your head. Bonus points for having a pair on the front, as well.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Vin Diesel can make a sound like a conga drum when flexing his pectoral muscles.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina always orders her hamburgers char-broiled. As she chews, the collisions between her lips create hundreds of small diamonds which she leaves as a tip.

Now in Haiku form!

She eats burgers black

Her lips create diamonds

She leaves them as tips

Friday, February 19, 2010

Game of Life Rules of the Week

Mexican Rules: Everyone starts the game running across the border with eight people in their car.

No players can get careers or get salary cards. Every pay day, they must spin to determine how much money they made doing odd jobs. Spin x 5,000.

When the player lands on the "Buy a House" square, they randomly pick a house to determine for which one they will be doing landscaping work. The player receives 1% of the value of the house on every pay day.

One player must play an INS agent. If player lands on same spot as another player, the other player gets deported, they can lose two turns running back across the border, or lose no turns by paying $15,000 to a coyote to get back into the country.

If a player spins a 10, they get pulled over for speeding. They can bribe the cop for $10,000 and be set free. If they don't bribe him they must spin again do determine if they get caught. Odds they get caught, evens they're set free. If caught, they're sent back to Mexico and can again lose two turns or pay a coyote.

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Vin Diesel was born from an 800 year-old egg laid by Genghis Khan.

You Might Be an Asshole If...

You have ever used finger guns. Bonus points for doing it while winking. If you were also bobbing your head slightly to the left and right, you should be shot.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

After consummation of the sex act, Angelina devours her mate.