Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

By flexing, Vin Diesel can turn his glistening abdominal muscles into a parabolic mirror and thus cook potatoes with the sun.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina Jolie likes you, like, more than a friend.

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

When Vin Diesel's jaw gets tired from Grape Nuts without milk, he relaxes by munching on nails.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina Jolie once performed a trans-Atlantic journey on her lips.

The Game of Life Rules of the Week

Jewish Rules: All loans are interest free and only pay 50% of taxes, since Jews own all the banks.

All players must go to college. All players must take out a loan and buy stock at the beginning of the game because parents say it's a good investment.

Car insurance costs $50,000 because everyone is driving a Mercedes. All car related incidents cost 2x.

No one can be an artist, athlete or entertainer because only meshugines become those.

Spin a 10 and player gets sinus infection in giant nose, pay $5,000 in medical bills.

Reason You May be An Asshole

When you walk past the Salvation Army bell-ringers you act like you don't see them, there's something really interesting on the ground, or have a fake cellphone conversation.

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Some people can bend spoons with their thumb. Vin Diesel can bend cars.

Blow in Her Face

Man! If only I had known that to get a girl all I had to do was blow it in her face. All this time.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina Jolie could win the Annual Nathan's Hot Dogs Eating Contest if she wanted, but she feels bad for small, slanty-eyed people, so she lets that Japanese guy win.

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Working with Habitat For Humanity, Vin Diesel once nailed together the frame of a house with his head.

Skinless Wieners!

I knew it! Now I feel bad about myself.

Vin Diesel Fact of the Week

Vin Diesel doesn't shave his head. By flexing his muscles he squeezes his hairs into a fine powder that is ejected through a blow hole-like apparatus.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

When Angelina Jolie says jump, you say nothing as you're knocked unconscious by her lower lip.