Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina Jolie is the world's largest Venus Fly Trap. She feeds by luring in pelicans with fish-scented hair.

Angelina Jolie Fact of the Week

Angelina Jolie was indispensable in late 1980's American spy work in the Soviet Union because of her ability to transform into a microwave oven.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's first job was as a lawn dart.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie is actually an incredibly advanced, rechargeable immersion blender.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie has been the javelin for every gold medal Olympian for the past eighteen years.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie is worshiped by a number of Christian splinter groups as the direct descendant of the cross on which Jesus was crucified.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie moonlights as a BBQ spit.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

By concentrating, Angeline Jolie can squeeze through the spaces separating subatomic particles, thus allowing her to walk through walls and destroy foes from the inside.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's actual father was the Transformer Soundwave.

You can see the family resemblance in the eyes.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie prefers to travel by trebuchet.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's Great-Great Grandmother was Paul Bunyan's axe.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie eats like a starfish. She clings to her prey, her stomach exits out her navel, ejaculates acidic fluids, and digests it outside of her body.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's first job was as a helicopter blade during the Gulf War.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie is actually a 12-year-old girl who put a quarter into Zoltar Speaks.

She then ate Zoltar.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie once butchered a live cow with her shoulder blades.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Jon Voight has been dead for over a decade. Angelina Jolie simply wears his skin around town, every now and then, to convince people that he's still alive. This explains why Voight took that role in the movie Bratz. Jolie couldn't hear very well through the disguise and thought the agent was saying Cats, which she has always loved.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, where she, being a large trap-door spider, lunges out and drags them to their doom.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie's puberty inspired the character of Doctor Manhattan from Watchmen.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie didn't legally adopt her children. She smuggled them out of various countries in her lips.

Angelina Jolie Fact Of The Week

Angelina Jolie was born when one of the veins on Jon Voight's forehead actually popped off and landed in a potted plant.